Self Blame + Almost There

You aren't happy with the role that your friends have put you in now and you're not sure how to get out of it. There are no quick and easy solutions to your dilemma, even if you are in touch with the group dynamics at play. You may be tempted to internalize another person's struggle and treat it as if it were your own. However, it's smarter to just steer clear of any melodrama that isn't yours. Don't worry about disappointing others; they'll get over it sooner than you think.
Via Twittascope

I srsly don't know how to start this post.

Today, our College of Arts and Sciences day ended with a blast (well, not for my department).

I joined the Group MTV Contest together with my friends and we chose the song Heart to Heart by 4Minute.

We grabbed different awards from different contests. In some we placed last, others first, second and third.

The bad part? I (or we?) put all the effort and hard work on that Group MTV presentation. I even agreed to waste money on those three stands for our 'highlight' props.

I was already running late that afternoon. Inside the cab, I was begging the driver to hurry up. I wanted to fly so fast that time.



I kept on talking to God loudly. "Lord, if this is for me, you'll let it happen right?! Right?!" I was nearly mad. God, I'm sorry.

But maybe God said no. He didn't let it happen at all. We drove to the shortest routes possible but traffic, parking cars and people all existed as hindrances.

IT WASN'T FOR ME. NOT YET.

If I wasn't strong enough, I would've broken down when we were announced as second place. We got minus 2 points from each judge because I was late. I, who did a lot of hard work for that presentation.

So instead of sulking or mourning or anything that wouldn't even help me with this frustration (and depression perhaps), I'll just eat!

Haha. Okay. That laugh was not even real. There will be no "better luck next time", because next time, I will work harder.

And that's what God wants, right, God? (feeling close much?)

As promised, a post (or a rant and complain?). xD I love you all!